Aero: Dallas Zebrowski – France 2018 – Family Life

Posted by LEAF Architect on Tuesday, September 11, 2018 · Leave a Comment

Aero: Dallas Zebrowski – France 2018 – Family Life

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Dallas Zebrowski

If my experience on the periphery of French family life can be summed up in one word, it would be close. Everything, from physical proximity, to inside jokes, to personal issues was common knowledge in my host-family. However, what deeply fascinated me was how the family included me within this closeness, almost without hesitation. Through-out the trip, I learned how one son had a driving test, which he previously failed twice, and had one-last attempt to pass the dreaded gauntlet. However, the driving test itself was fairly trivial, what was entertaining was the frequent jokes about how he had to take doctor proscribed stomach sedatives because he was so nervous about it. I, being a gentleman and a gracious host, did not partake in the jests, but that did not stop the rest of the family, mother included, from light-hearted mockery. I watched for a week as the poor fellow suffered, especially at the dinner table where he could not consume virtually anything.

On a different note, I was very surprised at how open the mother was concerning her divorce with my host student’s father. Upon going to the father’s house, the mother gave me a relatively in-depth recount of the affair. But what struck me about the incident was that this was totally unprompted. The mother, with no prodding from me, told her tale, which as we know would be a slight social faux pas here in the states.

Considering routines, I am slightly sad to report that my initial reflection about my expectations was correct; each family member had their daily routine, which they followed to the letter, deviating only in the food they ate or the café they drank. To be honest, I believe I was the most exciting thing that happened to them that week. While I know that sounds as narcissistic as building your own Triumphal Arch in Paris, I truly believe it would have been just another week in their household if the American had not shown up.

Meals/mealtimes stood out to me as they demonstrated the closeness of my host family, but also seemed to represent cultural “norm” (I understand that this statement is extremely subjective and is in no way concrete) of France. The family would exclusively eat together. The first night I was there, we waited until about 10:00 p.m. before eating, because a brother was late. This situation specifically struck me, because, one, I am not sure an American family would be that committed to the notion of eating together, and two, especially since they had a guest that literally traveled across an ocean to stay with them. I did not mind the wait, I rather enjoyed the casual snacking and dialogue during the wait, but this experience really did strike me.

Finally, communication. I am very proud to say that except for two sentences, I spoke exclusively French in Paris. (To the Parisians obviously.) However, I found speaking in French to my host family much more difficult. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. Perhaps it was due to the more complex dialogue that took place with my family. Perhaps it was because my host student spoke superb English, to the point I felt like I was communicating with a native speaker. I do not have a solid reason why, but it was it was a tad frustrating, as it felt I was “copping out” of my French language work. Once take-away from that experience though was that my passé composé is atrocious, but thankfully I have begun to develop it.

So, there it is, just over the one page minimum. Honestly, the home life experience was something that I tuned out during the trip. I am not completely sure why, other than the fact that I spent most of the time sleeping in their home. But I cannot overstate how caring and gracious they were to me, and they truly treated me like family. While the cultural significances of French home life will 100% be pushed out of my mind within the next six months, sorry Professor Kruger, the kindness to which my host family treated me will stay with me forever.

Dallas Zebrowski
Study Abroad – France 2018 @ FLCC

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